Pizza Delivery

By: Jeremy Ridnor


The arrow on the speedometer pointed to sixty-five. Nick Fish normally would abide by the speeding regulations. However, he was running late. In the distance he saw a streetlight. The yellow beacon challenged Nick, and even before he had the chance to floor it the light turned red. Nick stomped on the brakes hard, which created a trail of skid marks. The sound of gurgling came from Nick’s lower intestine. He had not taken his dinner break and the intoxicating smell of burnt cheese and tomato sauce made the situation worse. Nick salivated over the taboo fantasy of opening the pizza box that was currently sitting in the passenger seat beside him, and just devour it. Luckily he had will power. His motivation was getting his two-dollar tip and not getting fired by Mr. Peterson.


After what seem like an eternity the light turned green. Nick glanced at his stereo clock and was disappointed to find out that he was already thirteen minutes late. He also was having trouble reading his own handwriting. He did not know if he wrote turn left or right on Tree House Dr. He went with his instincts and turned right. It was dark and it was hard to see the addresses. He reached the end of the block and did not find the address 5864, so he quickly did a three-point turn and went the other way. Low and behold he found 5864. Nick got out of his car and grabbed the pizza. The driveway was ridiculously long and steep. After he finished the driveway pilgrimage he had to stop and catch his breath. A few moments went by and then he rang the doorbell. As he waited, he checked his digital watch. According to his watch he was fifteen minutes late.


The door swung open and a slightly older but attractive woman was standing in the frame of the door. She was wearing a light translucent silk bathrobe. This woman had a nice figure and full ruby red lips.


“You’re late,” said the woman in the red bathrobe.


“Sorry about that,” gulped Nick. “That’ll be forty-two forty-nine Miss.”


“Please call me Ginger,” she whispered seductively. “Now how much did you say it was?”


“Forty-two forty-nine, plus tip.”


“Oh that’s right, well silly me I forgot my wallet inside. Why don’t you come inside and I will get it for you.”




“Well it’s freezing out there I don’t want you to catch a cold.” She tugged at his arm. “This way.”


This woman, Ginger made Nick very nervous. He always perspired when he was nervous. Even though the woman was at least ten or even twenty years older than him, he felt very attracted to her. She is what he and his friends refer to as a “cougar.” Not only was she drop dead gorgeous, but she was obviously very wealthy. It was not a house, but rather a mansion. It was very elegant looking. There were marble floors, cathedral ceilings, and a bunch of paintings and sculptures. Perhaps he was going to get more than a two-dollar tip tonight. She stopped at the top of the stairs and turned around, and as she did her robe swirled.


“You must be really strong to lift those pizza’s.”


“Well they are not that heavy,” he said with a smug tone.


“Don’t be modest. Let me feel your muscle.”


“My muscle?”


“If you don’t mind.”


“Well I guess it would be okay.”


She lightly touches his biceps. “Oh my you have such big muscles. Do you work out?”


“Not really.”


“Take off your shirt.”


“My shirt?”


“I want to see how rip you are.”


Nick was very flattered, so he does as he was told. He started to flex all of his muscles.


“Oh you are so sexy.” She begins caressing his abs. “Oh they are rock solid. Look at you, you are sweating. I love it when men sweat. It gets me so hot. Just take me now.” Ginger throws Nick on the bed. “Take off your pants or I will take them off for you.” Nick quickly undid his belt and slid off his pants. “Take me now, I want you.”


All of a sudden in the distance, the sound of a door slamming is heard. Ginger looked frightened.


“Are you okay?” said Nick.


“Shhh he’ll hear you.”


“Who will hear me?”


“My boyfriend.”


“Your boyfriend? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.”


“There are a lot of things I haven’t told you about. Now quickly hide.”




“Under the bed.”


“But I will never fit under there.”


“Just do it, there is no time.”


In a state of panic Nick does as he is told and dove under the bed. He began sweating even more than ever. His heart was pounding and his mind was racing. Nick gripped tightly onto the carpet and waited. How could he have gotten himself into this situation? It just happened so fast. It was out of his control.


“Is that you honey?” Ginger yelled down.


“Yeah it’s me. Did you get the pizza yet?”


“Um yeah, I have it up here.”


“Up there? Why do you have the pizza up there?”


“I thought we could eat dinner in bed.”


“You know that is why I love you. Alright I am coming up, don’t eat it all.”


“Don’t make a noise,” whispered Ginger to Nick. “I hope you are hungry.”


“Oh yeah I sure am, but not for pizza. I am hungry for you.”


Nick almost laughed out loud at how corny that line was. He could not see what the man looked like. All he could see was that he had nice black dress shoes.


“Oh baby, come here.”


Nick could hear the sound of lips smacking together. All of a sudden, Nick felt pressure on his back. The reason being is that they were now on the bed. He gripped the carpet even harder. The sound of moaning could be heard, but then it stopped.


“Did you hear that?”




“Oh my God. I think my husband is here.”


“Your husband? You never said anything about a husband.”


“No time to explain. If you love me then you will hide under that bed.”




“Do it! There is no time.”


Did Nick’s ears deceive him? Was she actually cheating twice, and was this man about to join him under the bed? The man crouched down and then saw Nick’s eyes. He flinched and then stood up again.


“Ginger, why is there another guy under there?”


“He is just the pizza guy. Now go.”




“Honey, I’m home early. Hello, where are you?”


“Oh hi honey. I am up here,” she yelled down. “Now get under that bed and I will explain later.”




“Is there somebody up there?”


“No it is just the TV. I will be down in a second.”


“Don’t bother yourself. I will come up, I would like to take a nap anyway.”


“Oh babe I love you.” She ran out of the bedroom and closed the door behind her.


“I love you too.”


She began kissing him passionately. Then the doors opened.


“Get your hands off my woman,” said the boyfriend.


“Your woman? That is my wife. Who are you?”


“I just happen to be her man.”


“Is this true? Answer me.”


“Yes, but I can explain.”


“There is nothing to explain. I love her and that is it.”


“Don’t you touch my wife!”


Nick hears the sound of the first guy falling. Did that woman’s husband just punch this man? He had to get out of there, but how?


“Take this you son of a bitch.” The husband began waling on the boyfriend. Then Ginger came up behind him and bashed his head over with some heavy statue.


“Oh my God, did you kill him?” said the boyfriend.


“I did it for us.”


Nick did not know what to do. He began crying. Then he figured that he should just make a run for it. Nick did just that. He quickly crawled out from under the bed and sprinted down the stairs in his underwear while crying. He slammed the door behind him and he was gone.


“Is he gone,” whispered George.


“Yeah he is gone,” said Ginger.


“Anthony you were amazing, I really believed that I was hurting you.”


“Yeah I guess that stage fighting class really paid off. You think he will call the cops on us.”


“He might, but no one will believe a man in his underwear. They will think he is crazy,” said Ginger. “And you said it wouldn’t work George. I told you I could get us some free pizza.”